Personal accountability

It’s easy to get caught up complaining about the behaviour of others but how often do we shine the spotlight on own behaviour?

Respect, empathy, compassion - all wonderful qualities that we should expect from others and that others should expect from us.

But;

• When we are in our own state of stress or focused on our own day to day pressures or issues it can be difficult to notice (or care) about our colleagues.

• When we are passionate about a project, theme or issue we can forget to listen to the passion or objections of others.

• When we are focused on ‘what pushes our buttons’ we can stop listening to the sensitivities of someone else.

• When we notice someone’s unconscious bias or racist/sexist/ageist/homophobic undertones we rarely stop to examine and address our own unconscious thinking.

Everyone is capable of saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment or of not realising the impact of a comment or statement made.  We might say something with the most noble intent – to make someone laugh or to lighten a mood - yet the impact unintentionally hurts or belittles someone.

Despite our best intentions we can all be guilty of dismissive or ignorant micro-aggressions.  Without intending to be flippant or frivolous we might trivialise or negate another person’s self-identity or self-worth.

We will always have moments of being the villian in someone else’s story but this does not give us permission to become complacent to the impact of our behaviours.

If we do notice our mistakes, shame, embarrassment and/or guilt may cause us to defend or play down our own inappropriate behaviour.  Instead of this, start being accountable, notice your blind spots, don’t just brush off your own errors or indiscretions, don’t just excuse, defend and dismiss them.  Take time to reflect, understand the impact and make a conscious effort to learn from the experience.

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