Is there a greater expectation for women to smile?
Do women have the same level of psychological safety as men? Always? Frustratingly there are still so many examples of women being treated differently.
A training discussion yesterday that started with the question ‘do we have to like someone to respect them?’ soon took a deeper dive into ‘but what about someone we just can’t respect? if Vladimir Putin was in the room would we show respect?’ The conversation seemed to naturally then turn to ‘what about Grace Tame and Scott Morrison?’ which then morphed into, ‘is there a greater expectation for women to smile versus a man in the same situation?’
Such a great conversation, I wanted to make myself a coffee, sit down and really dig in but with an agenda to stick to we only spent about 10 minutes on what could have been a couple of hours of great debate.
Politicians and public figures are splendid examples for ‘yes, but..’ conversations. On a weekend, out of Respect at Work mode, would I show respect for someone whose views are polar opposite to mine – maybe not, it depends. But in a professional capacity, I would. Showing respect includes acknowledging, listening to, and, taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration – this I can do without compromising myself or my views. Remember, respect doesn’t mean agreeing with someone, I can disagree or debate in a respectful way.
Psychological safety is a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up (Amy Edmonson, The Fearless Organisation), as long as I am in psychologically safe environment there is no cost or risk to me for having a voice, and I can use that voice respectfully and know that I will be heard.
The timing of the question ‘is there a greater expectation for women to smile versus a man in the same situation?’ that was posed yesterday is an interesting debate on this International Women’s Day. Do women have the same level of psychological safety as men? Always? Frustratingly there are still so many examples of women being treated differently. A senior female manager who is called a bitch for being assertive, a professional woman who if not smiling is grilled by the media for being passive aggressive, a female board member whose words are unheard, while the male sitting next to her says the same words and is applauded, a culture of calling women girls, love, sweetheart – all words that infantilise and undermine.
Let’s open this conversation up, have a look around your workplace, do you see an environment of psychological safety? for everyone? Does everyone have a voice? Can everyone disagree respectfully and still be heard?
Contact us, Respect at Work can help you to create a psychologically safe workplace culture.